Sunday, September 20, 2009

Shower Etiquette Update:

Opinions seem to be running heavily in favor of NOT having guests address their own envelopes. I would have to agree with this. The comments say it all.
I did like the idea of the hostess taking the box of thank you cards and addressing the envelopes for the bride herself. I thought that was a nice solution if you’re worried about the bride’s time.
There’s just something so weird about getting an envelope in the mail with your own writing on it! It feels almost creepy!
Let’s just hope that we can maybe squash this trend with the showers and that it won’t spread to the wedding receptions! Wouldn’t THAT be special!

Here's some little facts about etiquette that you might be interested in reading:

The bride should send out her thank you notes for showers withing 2 to 3 weeks of the shower.

For the wedding, the notes should be sent no longer than 3 months after the wedding.

Wedding guests can send wedding gifts for up to a year after the wedding date.

It's actually not socially correct (don't you love that term?) to bring a gift to the wedding! The wedding gift should be sent to the bride's mother's home where the gifts are opened and displayed before the wedding, or to the newlyweds' home after the wedding. (This is, admittedly, a little old fashioned. I remember seeing the gifts all displayed on tables at my grandmother's home for my parents wedding, in the movie that they made in 1949. It always seemed like a sweet tradition though.)

Did you know that a note that has "thank you" printed on the front is not considered "proper" by Ms. Post? The bride should send notes to gift givers before the wedding on her own "personal" stationery, (and yes we all still have that, right?) The notes would have either her name or her monogram on the front of the card, but never "thank you".

You should never use the married name or monogram until AFTER the wedding service.

Oh, and when you send or take a gift to someones wedding, ALWAYS put a note or a card with your name on it, INSIDE the box. That way if the card on the outside is separated from the gift, they still have a way to figure out who it is from. I can't tell you how often we find cards just laying on the gift table, and we never know whether they are associated with a gift, or if they are just a card that someone missed the card box with.

So if anyone would like to stop in and order your "personal stationery" I would be happy to help you with that! :) (It actually is a nice thing to have, all kidding aside. There's nothing like a handwritten, received in the mail note, it's even more special nowadays with all the electronic communication!)

And remember, etiquette is not designed to make our lives harder or more complicated, its purpose is to give us guidelines so that our lives are easier. You have only to host a wedding reception, and wait for those stragglers to send back their response cards to know what I mean!! That's a topic for another post though!

Anyone have any thoughts about all this?

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