Ladies!!! Just in case you might not have noticed the comment on my post about finding shoes I wanted to point out this info for you.
Cindy writes:
"I have purchased many pairs of shoes from www.shoebuy.com --- as a bridesmaid and for my anniversary party. I have not utilized any dyeing services. What I like is that there is free shipping TO you and then free shipping to return (as long as you return all of the shoes from the order in one package – one free return shipment per order). This website also offers lots of shoes in hard to find sizes. I am a 6W which is a difficult size to find, I ordered at least 10 pairs of shoes since I didn’t know what I would like, and I found several that fit well. Returned the nine other pairs with NO problems.
Also – as a tip – before I place the order I google “SHOEBUY.COM PROMO CODE” and almost always find a code for a percentage off!"
Gotta love that couponing tip! My daughters will be all over that!
So then additionally Cindy tells me about the shipping:
"When you return them, you go on line and print out a shipping form for UPS, attach it to the original mailing box and POOF! All done! I have had great luck with casual as well as dress shoes from this website."
How easy is that? So you pick out a pair you love, and order it in a couple of sizes so that you have some leeway, figuring you'll return the ones that don't work, then UPS just comes and gets the rest of them and you are done! Cool! What I really like about this, besides the utter convenience of it, is that you could wear the shoes around your house for a couple hours and really give them a good "road test". As long as you don't wear them outside on concrete or asphalt, you could REALLY try them out and have a much better idea if your tootsies would be cozy for 8 or 10 hours in them.
Thanks so much for you input Cindy!!! I know everyone will find this really useful!
Anyone else have any good shoe ideas?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Pictures together---before? after?
It seems that a big dilemma with our couples is often whether they should do their photos together before the wedding or after.
Here are some of the arguments I hear against it and my responses to each:
It's tradition for us not to see each other.
My answer: This tradition comes from when marriages were a business proposition and brides/daughters were bought and sold as property! They didn't want the groom to see the bride until it was too late for him to back out! (that's what the groomsmen were for you know!) Personally, my feeling is that any woman with half an ounce of feminism will reject this tradition as sexist and not something that a woman who is CHOOSING her mate would ever do!
I want the first time he sees me to be when I go down the aisle.
My answer: The moment when he sees you is between the two of you, not the two of you and two hundred guests! Wouldn't you rather be able to actually see his reaction, rather than having everyone stand and block your view as soon as you step into the room? Wouldn't you prefer that the groom be able to really let his true emotions out, rather than to feel that he has to "suck it up" because 200 people are watching him?
My xxxx (insert the appropriate person--parents, siblings, attendants or friends) will have a fit if we see each other before the ceremony.
My answer: Don't tell them. Keep it between you and your photographer. If you don't want them to try to talk you out of it, then don't TELL them! They won't argue with you about what they don't know. Once you get to the day of the wedding, it really is too late for them to argue with you about it. You just say "this is the way our photographer suggested/insisted/required that we do it" and then you go about your business.
It won't be as "special" if it isn't when I go down the aisle.
We have had a lot of couples take their photos before the wedding together. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM has said that it was THE MOST SPECIAL MOMENT OF THE ENTIRE DAY!
They had a chance to talk to each other (which isn't something you have in the middle of a ceremony) they could kiss and hug each other, and say "gee, we are really getting married today! Do you believe it?! and stuff like that. It isn't in the middle of the ceremony where you can only look at each other and not really express your true feelings to each other at that moment. Your groom can look at you with tears running down his cheeks and say "you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I am SO happy to be marrying you today!"
My dear friend who has been married nearly 40 years did the photos before their wedding, and she STILL gets choked up about it when she talks about how special that time before the ceremony was to them!
It won't make any difference, so we'll just go with tradition.
My answer: It does make a difference! A huge difference!
First, your pictures will come out SO much better! When you do all your photos together before the wedding, you are still "fresh". Your hair and makeup are still pristine. You haven't been hugged and kissed by 200 guests! Consequently your photos will come out SO much better!
Second: You are both so much more at ease. When you see each other beforehand you have an opportunity to talk ("so, do you like the dress?" "wow! we're actually getting married today!") so you are much calmer, less tense and more at ease, than you are when people are running around worrying about whether you will see each other or not.
Third: You are able to enjoy the cocktail hour, and move from the ceremony to the reception without feeling rushed and overwhelmed. You can greet your guests, have bubbles or petals, take a group picture with all your guests, have some hors d'oeuvres and enjoy yourselves without feeling like you should be out smiling for a camera.
Fourth: You have more opportunities to shoot some photos at other locations--the Dunes, Ogden Gardens, Deep River, the fountain in Aberdeen, where ever you want to go. You have the earlier part of the day to go and take photos in those special places, without having to squeeze it in between your ceremony and reception.
I honestly don't know of a single photographer who doesn't recommend doing the photos together before the wedding. These are folks that do weddings all the time, and they KNOW how much better it is! Talk to your photographer about it. Find out if they will make it a special moment for just the two of you. Tell them you are considering doing your photos together before the wedding, and see what they have to say about it. I think you will find that any photographer that knows weddings will applaud you for your good sense and they will tell you that you have made a very wise decision, based on fact and not silly antiquated traditions.
And it isn't bad luck either, the two couples I know who have been married the longest of any of my friends, both did their photos before the wedding! I KNOW you will thank me for this after the wedding! I feel very confident that it is something that once you experience it, you will wonder why anyone would ever do it any other way.
Here are some of the arguments I hear against it and my responses to each:
It's tradition for us not to see each other.
My answer: This tradition comes from when marriages were a business proposition and brides/daughters were bought and sold as property! They didn't want the groom to see the bride until it was too late for him to back out! (that's what the groomsmen were for you know!) Personally, my feeling is that any woman with half an ounce of feminism will reject this tradition as sexist and not something that a woman who is CHOOSING her mate would ever do!
I want the first time he sees me to be when I go down the aisle.
My answer: The moment when he sees you is between the two of you, not the two of you and two hundred guests! Wouldn't you rather be able to actually see his reaction, rather than having everyone stand and block your view as soon as you step into the room? Wouldn't you prefer that the groom be able to really let his true emotions out, rather than to feel that he has to "suck it up" because 200 people are watching him?
My xxxx (insert the appropriate person--parents, siblings, attendants or friends) will have a fit if we see each other before the ceremony.
My answer: Don't tell them. Keep it between you and your photographer. If you don't want them to try to talk you out of it, then don't TELL them! They won't argue with you about what they don't know. Once you get to the day of the wedding, it really is too late for them to argue with you about it. You just say "this is the way our photographer suggested/insisted/required that we do it" and then you go about your business.
It won't be as "special" if it isn't when I go down the aisle.
We have had a lot of couples take their photos before the wedding together. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM has said that it was THE MOST SPECIAL MOMENT OF THE ENTIRE DAY!
They had a chance to talk to each other (which isn't something you have in the middle of a ceremony) they could kiss and hug each other, and say "gee, we are really getting married today! Do you believe it?! and stuff like that. It isn't in the middle of the ceremony where you can only look at each other and not really express your true feelings to each other at that moment. Your groom can look at you with tears running down his cheeks and say "you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I am SO happy to be marrying you today!"
My dear friend who has been married nearly 40 years did the photos before their wedding, and she STILL gets choked up about it when she talks about how special that time before the ceremony was to them!
It won't make any difference, so we'll just go with tradition.
My answer: It does make a difference! A huge difference!
First, your pictures will come out SO much better! When you do all your photos together before the wedding, you are still "fresh". Your hair and makeup are still pristine. You haven't been hugged and kissed by 200 guests! Consequently your photos will come out SO much better!
Second: You are both so much more at ease. When you see each other beforehand you have an opportunity to talk ("so, do you like the dress?" "wow! we're actually getting married today!") so you are much calmer, less tense and more at ease, than you are when people are running around worrying about whether you will see each other or not.
Third: You are able to enjoy the cocktail hour, and move from the ceremony to the reception without feeling rushed and overwhelmed. You can greet your guests, have bubbles or petals, take a group picture with all your guests, have some hors d'oeuvres and enjoy yourselves without feeling like you should be out smiling for a camera.
Fourth: You have more opportunities to shoot some photos at other locations--the Dunes, Ogden Gardens, Deep River, the fountain in Aberdeen, where ever you want to go. You have the earlier part of the day to go and take photos in those special places, without having to squeeze it in between your ceremony and reception.
I honestly don't know of a single photographer who doesn't recommend doing the photos together before the wedding. These are folks that do weddings all the time, and they KNOW how much better it is! Talk to your photographer about it. Find out if they will make it a special moment for just the two of you. Tell them you are considering doing your photos together before the wedding, and see what they have to say about it. I think you will find that any photographer that knows weddings will applaud you for your good sense and they will tell you that you have made a very wise decision, based on fact and not silly antiquated traditions.
And it isn't bad luck either, the two couples I know who have been married the longest of any of my friends, both did their photos before the wedding! I KNOW you will thank me for this after the wedding! I feel very confident that it is something that once you experience it, you will wonder why anyone would ever do it any other way.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Such a Pretty Wedding!
Shelly and Ken-----August 1, 2009
Shelly and Ken REALLY wanted to have their ceremony in the garden, and despite a very light mist, not even a mist really, just an occasional tiny raindrop, they were able to have it in the garden! The weather actually seemed to improve throughout the ceremony, getting a little lighter and brighter out by the minute. Fortunately we were on the tail end of the stormy weather that passed through today.Shelly chose a very muted palette of chocolate brown, soft greens, a mauve/mushroom sort of color for the bridesmaids, and lots of woodsy, twiggy kind of greenery and the like decorating the ballroom.
The cake table was especially pretty, with vines and greenery going around the edge, and the cake on a glass pedestal on top of one of our chocolate bichon tablecloths which was swagged around the table.
Their placecards were mounted on tiny little green topiaries--so cute. Shelly used three different designs of centerpieces--a tall arrangement of twigs with silk flowers scattered on them, and moss and natural tiny rocks in the vase--a low "shabby chic" sort of little lantern which sat on a moss mat--and a tall twig like cone which also had moss and some tiny silk flowers. 
It was really lovely!
Her menu cards were green on white with a flourish sort of design, and she had also made her own table numbers with moss on the diagonal corners which was very cute.
It was very apparent that Shelly had put a lot of thought as well as time and effort, into her wedding. She used a lot of lovely touches that made it very special and really made it "hers".
They also chose to take advantage of the free private dance lesson that Transaudios offers to their customers, and it was terrific! They did turns and dips and just really spiced up that first dance! I always tell folks that particularly if they aren't big dancers, that dance lesson is golden! If you already feel uncomfortable dancing, having a few little moves to throw in is only going to make you feel better about the whole thing. At least that way you have something to do besides sway and smooch! And when the crowd whoops and claps the first time you do a twirl--well, it does amazing things for your confidence and your comfort level! You might even find yourself enjoying being in the spotlight after all!
So congratulations Shelly and Ken! You had a beautiful wedding, a wonderful dinner for everyone, and a terrific party! You left no stone unturned, and thought of all the wonderful little touches that make your guests feel good about your event. I wish I could do weddings like yours every week!!!
The Great Aberdeen Childcare Dilemma
Back in 2004, when we xpanded and moved into our present bridal shop, we started offering childcare during receptions in the "old" shop. As a mom, I knew how hard it was to take young children to a wedding, and also how difficult it was to find sitters, particularly when I was out of town. My thought was that people would LOVE having a place where their children could play and be supervised by responsible adults, in a room adjacent to the ballroom. I THOUGHT it would be huge!
Well yes, many folks thought it was a really good idea too, the problem was that they didn't bother to mention it to anyone that was attending the reception. So I would pay gals to sit in the childcare room waiting for some little customers, and nobody would take advantage of it! Even when I would go around and mention it to people, they were reluctant to leave their children in the childcare room. I think this was because they just didn't have time to process the idea sufficiently. They really needed to know about it in advance so that they could think it through and realize that it might be really great for their kids and for them both.
So we thought, ok,we need to provide some sort of encouragement to clients to mention it to their guests in advance, and encourage them to use the childcare room. I didn't have a problem paying staff to be in there IF it was being used, but paying them to do nothing was really becoming annoying! So we said, ok, we'll charge what it costs us for the first two hours, which came to about $90, to use the childcare room. If the kids were using it, we would pay for the rest of the evening, and if they weren't, then we would send the gals home.
Well, that hasn't worked either. Now what happens is that even though some weddings have had 10 or 15 children running all over the place, they didn't want to pay the $90 to have childcare! We have had childcare, on average, roughly once every 2 months this year. The saddest part is that we have had SO many weddings where they SHOULD have had childcare, but they haven't wanted it! Go figure!
Unfortunately it's very difficult to get good people to staff the childcare room when it is that infrequent. It's a lot of space to devote to something that is hardly used. It's just become very apparent that it isn't a feasible thing to do.
So unfortunately, I have no choice but to admit defeat and say goodbye to childcare. I have to admit that I was wrong (oh BOY! that is REALLY hard to do!!!) and cut my losses.
I don't know for sure what we are going to use that space for at this point. We've been kicking around some ideas but haven't really firmly decided on anything yet. We need to have that room available for garden weddings in order to have a place to sequester the wedding party before the ceremony, so it will need to be something that still gives us access to the space.
If anyone has any thoughts about this, I would be happy to hear them. My apologies to those few people who, like me, thought this was a great idea. I'm sorry that we won't be able to offer childcare for your receptions.
I do know that our insurance man will be thrilled by this decision! I thought he would have a heart attack on the spot when I told him we were planning to offer childcare! So at least HE will be happy!
I'll keep you posted (no pun intended haha) on what develops with that space. In the meantime, if you have any ideas or input on possible future uses, let me know!! I'm sure there is probably something I'm not thinking of that would be fabulous!
Well yes, many folks thought it was a really good idea too, the problem was that they didn't bother to mention it to anyone that was attending the reception. So I would pay gals to sit in the childcare room waiting for some little customers, and nobody would take advantage of it! Even when I would go around and mention it to people, they were reluctant to leave their children in the childcare room. I think this was because they just didn't have time to process the idea sufficiently. They really needed to know about it in advance so that they could think it through and realize that it might be really great for their kids and for them both.
So we thought, ok,we need to provide some sort of encouragement to clients to mention it to their guests in advance, and encourage them to use the childcare room. I didn't have a problem paying staff to be in there IF it was being used, but paying them to do nothing was really becoming annoying! So we said, ok, we'll charge what it costs us for the first two hours, which came to about $90, to use the childcare room. If the kids were using it, we would pay for the rest of the evening, and if they weren't, then we would send the gals home.
Well, that hasn't worked either. Now what happens is that even though some weddings have had 10 or 15 children running all over the place, they didn't want to pay the $90 to have childcare! We have had childcare, on average, roughly once every 2 months this year. The saddest part is that we have had SO many weddings where they SHOULD have had childcare, but they haven't wanted it! Go figure!
Unfortunately it's very difficult to get good people to staff the childcare room when it is that infrequent. It's a lot of space to devote to something that is hardly used. It's just become very apparent that it isn't a feasible thing to do.
So unfortunately, I have no choice but to admit defeat and say goodbye to childcare. I have to admit that I was wrong (oh BOY! that is REALLY hard to do!!!) and cut my losses.
I don't know for sure what we are going to use that space for at this point. We've been kicking around some ideas but haven't really firmly decided on anything yet. We need to have that room available for garden weddings in order to have a place to sequester the wedding party before the ceremony, so it will need to be something that still gives us access to the space.
If anyone has any thoughts about this, I would be happy to hear them. My apologies to those few people who, like me, thought this was a great idea. I'm sorry that we won't be able to offer childcare for your receptions.
I do know that our insurance man will be thrilled by this decision! I thought he would have a heart attack on the spot when I told him we were planning to offer childcare! So at least HE will be happy!
I'll keep you posted (no pun intended haha) on what develops with that space. In the meantime, if you have any ideas or input on possible future uses, let me know!! I'm sure there is probably something I'm not thinking of that would be fabulous!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Shoes!
So ladies, here is a question for you. Where have you found to be a good place to look for shoes to go with your wedding gown? Has anyone found a place that will dye the shoes for you if you have an ivory or "almost white" gown?
To be honest, I just don't buy too many pairs of formal white shoes these days! So help me out here! What have you found?
We have a bride who is getting married the end of August who needs to find that perfect pair of slippers yet. Let me know what has worked for all of you!
Thanks ladies!
To be honest, I just don't buy too many pairs of formal white shoes these days! So help me out here! What have you found?
We have a bride who is getting married the end of August who needs to find that perfect pair of slippers yet. Let me know what has worked for all of you!
Thanks ladies!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
And then there are days------
This evening we had the annual meeting for the Porter County Community Foundation at the Manor. We provide a big spread of hors d'oeuvres and bar, and everyone who is anyone in Valparaiso show up to party. Then they have a business meeting of sorts to award their annual awards to different community organizations and volunteers in the community.
So tonight, after doing this party for the last eleven years, they got to the meeting part, and what happens? The FIRE ALARM goes off! I jumped out of my chair in my office where I had gone to check my email real quick, and I went flying to the kitchen! "What happened?" I said with a panic in my voice. " Oh XXXX was putting away silverware and bumped into the fire alarm and set it off".
I run back to my office, grab the little alan wrench that has been in my drawer unused for the last 11 years, and run back to the kitchen.
"Here Tom, try this!" Tom is our security person who has been there for the last 11 years as well.
He can't find a place to turn it off. Meanwhile, the lights are blinking on and off, and the horn is blaring and bleating and making all of us deaf.
"Oh gees, I'll call Jim!" I say, and run to the phone.
I dial him on his cell, no answer!
I dial him at Megan's house because he said he was going there to help her clean carpets.
He answers, hallalujah!!!
"What's the problem" he says.
"The flippin fire alarm is going off and I don't know how to disarm it!" I say, in a panic.
"Go in the back storage room and hit the buttons on the box that say disarm alarm" he says calmly.
"Great, bye!" I say and run for the back storage room. All this time, we have 200 people sitting in the ballroom wondering if they should evacuate or what!
I find the box on the wall, hit the buttons, and voile, silence!!!
This is why Jim is not allowed to leave, EVER EVER EVER!!!!! He at least must be accessible by cell phone no matter what!! Gees!! :)
So tonight, after doing this party for the last eleven years, they got to the meeting part, and what happens? The FIRE ALARM goes off! I jumped out of my chair in my office where I had gone to check my email real quick, and I went flying to the kitchen! "What happened?" I said with a panic in my voice. " Oh XXXX was putting away silverware and bumped into the fire alarm and set it off".
I run back to my office, grab the little alan wrench that has been in my drawer unused for the last 11 years, and run back to the kitchen.
"Here Tom, try this!" Tom is our security person who has been there for the last 11 years as well.
He can't find a place to turn it off. Meanwhile, the lights are blinking on and off, and the horn is blaring and bleating and making all of us deaf.
"Oh gees, I'll call Jim!" I say, and run to the phone.
I dial him on his cell, no answer!
I dial him at Megan's house because he said he was going there to help her clean carpets.
He answers, hallalujah!!!
"What's the problem" he says.
"The flippin fire alarm is going off and I don't know how to disarm it!" I say, in a panic.
"Go in the back storage room and hit the buttons on the box that say disarm alarm" he says calmly.
"Great, bye!" I say and run for the back storage room. All this time, we have 200 people sitting in the ballroom wondering if they should evacuate or what!
I find the box on the wall, hit the buttons, and voile, silence!!!
This is why Jim is not allowed to leave, EVER EVER EVER!!!!! He at least must be accessible by cell phone no matter what!! Gees!! :)
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Congrats Dirk and Kathrin
Last night we had a very interesting wedding. The bride and groom live in Germany. The groom grew up in Valparaiso, and moved to Europe to play basketball, then he met Kathrin! Judging from the way they looked at each other, it was a done deal from the first!
Earlier in the week I received an email from one of Kathrin's relatives who wanted to send me a pdf file with a custom made "card" for the bride and groom, which he had made up on his computer. Cool! I mentioned to him in my email back, that we have live webcams that they could watch the reception and actually hear what was going on! They were SO excited! DJ Mike and I pow-wowed before the reception began on how to present the card to the bride and groom, and when. The moment came right after the toasts. Mike, in his usual smooth and suave fashion, made a beautiful presentation of the card, and then drew the attention of all the guests to the webcam, and had everyone wave and say "hi" to all the relatives in Germany!
How wonderful it is that we have the technology to include friends and relatives half a world away in their celebration! What a special feeling it gives us to be able to make it happen for them. We really should have a world map in the shop with those little dot push pins to show all the places that folks have watched from. Russia, India, England, Germany, Canada, Hawaii, China, Spain, and every corner of the US. It is truly amazing!
So I hope that our new friends in Germany were able to enjoy the reception along with Dirk and Kathrin! And all of us here wish them every happiness in their new life together!
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