Being "Unique and Different"

Recently, I had an epiphany of sorts.  I was thinking about vendors and weddings and such.  It has always confused me that we would have brides who felt that they needed to choose vendors that were all new to us.  Nobody off of my Favorites List, all people we had never seen before.  Hmmmmmm.
So this is where my epiphany comes in.  It dawned on me that the reason some brides feel compelled to choose vendors that are different from the ones we normally use is because they think that having unique vendors will make their wedding unique!!!
In a nutshell, they couldn't be more wrong.

What makes your wedding unique?  What sets it apart from the weddings of all your friends?  I can tell you one thing that doesn't affect the uniqueness of your wedding, and that is your vendors.  Vendors are the framework that you build your wedding on.  They are the 2x4's and lumber that your house is constructed from, and upon which you decorate, furnish and paint to make your house unique.  It isn't the lumber that makes a house unique, it's the work that your architect does on the design, and the decorating that you do once the design is accomplished that make it so special.
So to carry that analogy along, you, my brides and grooms, are the homeowners, and I am your wedding architect/General Contractor (we do design/build weddings! :).  It is my job to help you design a beautiful and unique wedding.  Just as General Contractors have subs that they work with all the time, I have "subs" (that we call vendors) that I work with best.  We have our framers, our dry wallers, HVAC, windows, flooring, and painting, roofers, landscapers, concrete and asphalt contractors: all the different people that it takes to build a house.
It's my job as your "General" to bring all these people together, coordinate their work and schedule them so that your house is built efficiently and on schedule.  It's also my job, since we are "design/build" to help you tweak your floor plan to make it fit your family, to keep your design consistent throughout the changes we need to make, and to ultimately provide you with a home that reflects your tastes and your vision, and that you will be happy living in!
I have often said that I could use the SAME VENDORS for every single wedding we do, and our weddings would all still be unique and different!!!  Just as an interior decorator wouldn't do the same design in every house, a florist is going to talk with you and design something unique for your wedding. The DJ is going to play different music, suited to YOUR tastes, and provide the extra activities that you request.  Your cake designer will create the perfect cake for you.  It isn't WHO you choose that is important, it is THEIR LEVEL OF EXPERTISE!
The folks on our Favorites List have proven their expertise over and over and over again.  I could work with them week in and week out, and still have beautiful unique weddings every time.
I just finished reading a fun series of books by Nora Roberts, her "Wedding Day Series" which follows four women who start a wedding venue in the one friend's Mansion in Connecticut.  They are fun books, a little racey, because after all, it IS Nora Roberts!  Parker, who owns the Mansion, is the coordinator, Laurel makes the cakes, Emma does all the flowers, and Mackenzie is the photographer.  Together they create all these beautiful, unique weddings for their clients.  Basically the same people doing every wedding, but every wedding unique in its own way because they are professionals and know how to make them unique and flawless.
We often talk about "A-Team" weddings at Aberdeen.  These are the weddings that have all of OUR vendors for their event.  These weddings are as smooth as glass.  No worries about flowers that haven't shown up at 4:30, no cakes that are starting to slide apart, no DJ dragging his equipment in through the guests because he is late arriving.  These issues just don't happen when we have an A-Team Wedding.  Everything happens as it is supposed to, on schedule and perfectly timed.  Mike (the Transaudio DJ we work with most) and I have developed a psychic connection when it comes to orchestrating a ceremony and reception!  I look at him and he knows what to do!  It's magical!  We're like a pitcher and a catcher--we have our little signals that we pass back and forth, and the wedding progresses, perfectly timed and flawless.  The correct music plays, it fades beautifully in and out at the absolute perfect moment.  Who wouldn't want that sort of perfection for their wedding?
This same symbiosis occurs when Stringsounds plays for a wedding, or Cynthia Shelhart, or any of a number of other musicians on our list that work with me over and over again.  We all work together like a well oiled machine.  It doesn't mean that they play the same music each time, of course not!  Each wedding has its own unique music, what sets them apart is that they are flawless!
I could write a book about the issues we have had with vendors over the years.  Photographers and DJ's particularly because these are the people we work with throughout the event.  Some of them were just plain bad.  I've had to testify in court against a DJ who absolutely trashed a reception.  With others, I've had to try to fix the problems that they have created, either because they were unprofessional, inexperienced, or sometimes just unfamiliar with how we work and what we do.
It isn't that the people on our list are the only good vendors in Northwest Indiana; that's not my point at all.  There are, of course, other good vendors out there, it's just that they aren't necessarily familiar with our facility and us, and how we operate.  Consequently, it is much more difficult to create that perfectly timed, and flawlessly orchestrated wedding.
To continue our analogy, if your framing contractor isn't good, your house is eventually going to have structural problems, regardless of how beautifully you decorate it.  The walls will develop cracks your roof might leak, who knows what might happen?  If your landscape sub isn't up to par, you might have big problems with the sprinkling system, or the beautiful curly willow might be planted over your sewer line where it grows into it and creates problems later.
Even if you get lucky and choose good subs for your home contruction, if they aren't people that your General Contractor works with regularly, you could experience months of delay because he can't get them there to do the work.  When your GC uses a sub regularly, he has a lot more "clout" when it comes to scheduling them and getting them on HIS time table.
Obviously, the analogy could go on and on, and of course, it doesn't translate totally but you get the idea, right?   My point is this:  USE OUR FAVORITES LIST!  It's only purpose is to help you plan a flawlessly timed and orchestrated wedding!  It is YOUR personality, uniqueness, input, and ideas that will make your day unique and different from anyone else's.
And as ever, I am here for you to help you with the ideas portion.  If you need some help in that department, just let me know and we'll get together and see what we can come up with!!

(And by the way, do I need to say this again? WE DO NOT RECEIVE ANY KICKBACKS FROM OUR VENDORS!  The ONLY reason we recommend these folks is because we KNOW they are good, and we also know that they are familiar with our facility and each other.)

Travel Agent Updates

You wouldn't believe how much money Nicole is saving our clients!  It seems like every time I see her she has a new story about someone who thought they were getting such a great deal on a flight from the "on line" brokers, and then Nicole buzzes in there and saves them hundreds at the bat of an eye!  It amazes me!  I was like everyone else--I didn't think a travel agent could beat the online prices!  HA!  Was I ever WRONG!!! 
If you are planning your honeymoon, and want to find out what Nicole can do for YOU, give her a call at 219-299-3511.  Nicole makes appointments at times that are convenient for you, just like we do in the shop, and she is usually in the shop during our "walk in" hours, although she does a lot of the travel junkets so you might want to call her first.  She just got back from a trip to Mexico where she toured about 40 resorts in 5 days!  Whew!  It's what makes her really good at her job though. She knows her stuff and she is thrilled to be able to share it with you!

(Ok, so this isn't REALLY Nicole--but if she keeps saving people all this money,

we're going to have to get her the Super Woman outfit!!)

Disclaimer:  Just so you all know, and so that there is no misunderstanding about our relationship with Nicole and Aberdeen Travels,  we are giving her space in the shop because we know that it is something that will be a huge help to our couples who are planning weddings and honeymoons.  We do not receive a percentage, or a kickback, or anything else.  If you have read our "Favorites List" you know already, that's NOT how we roll! :)  Just like our vendors on our Faves List, we recommend them because we know they are good and they are going to be a valuable asset to YOU, our clients.

15 Days and Counting! William and Kate Updates!

So, are we all going to get up at 4 a.m. to watch the coverage of the Royal Wedding?  Hmmmm, I may have to think about that one!   I'm thinking that I can watch most of it live, and still make it to work at noon, depending on whether the time difference is 5 hours or 6.  I think it's 5 during daylight savings time.  So if the ceremony is at 11 a.m., and the guests will begin arriving between 8 and 10--wow, that makes it really early!
This morning I've been looking at all the information online about the wedding.  I found a VERY interesting itinerary of the day on the official website.  It has information on their wedding party, which will be Kate's sister Phillipa as Maid of Honor and William's brother Harry as Best Man.  The rest of the "wedding party" are children!  Interesting!  Four girls ages 7, 8, 3, and 3, and two boys 8, and 10.  They are officially called bridesmaids and page boys.  One adult attendant on each side and the rest children?  Hmmmmm, I think this makes me glad I'm not coordinating weddings in the UK!  I have enough trouble getting grown ups down the aisle sometimes!! :)
Here's a very informative link for information on wedding traditions in the UK.  I was surprised at how many differences there were! 
Kate and William came up with their guest list just like all of us commoners.  The couple made their list, each family made their lists, and then they put them all together.  Another little fact I found very interesting--they have invited 1900 guests to the ceremony, 650 guests to the lunch reception at Buckingham Palace (hosted by Her Royal Majesty!) and then dinner and dancing for 300 guests in the evening (hosted by Prince Charles).  Wow!  We could have had their reception at Aberdeen!  Ha! 
Most interesting though, was the information on their wedding cake!  They have hired Fiona Cairns, a well known cake designer in Lancastershire, England.   Fiona is apparently the UK's answer to Sylvia Weinstock, Colette Peters and Ron Ben Israel!  She has some beautiful pictures on her website of things that she has done.  The Royal wedding cake is going to be done in the Joseph Lambeth technique which is very popular in England as well as in Australia and New Zealand.  It is SO beautiful, and SO delicate!

The Lambeth technique involves delicate piping and intricate details.  Either in all white or colors.

I have a sneaking suspicion that after the 29th of April, our local cake people will need to brush up on the Lambeth technique!
The other interesting fact about the cake is that it will be made of fruitcake, which is the traditional wedding cake in England.  The tradition of putting a piece of wedding cake under your pillow to dream about who you would marry involved the fruitcake, rather than our traditional American wedding cake.  Much less messy I would think!  It's usually covered with marzipan which is made from almond paste, and applied similar to rolled fondant--but it is much more tasty!  (Incidentally, the one plus that fondant has over marzipan is that it can be white, whereas marzipan is a light beige color, with white royal icing on it though, it can be really beautiful!)
In the coming two weeks we'll talk more about the big wedding, and how it will affect our wedding traditions here. 
What aspect of the wedding are YOU most excited about?

TIMING IS EVERYTHING!

Reading through my emails this morning, I received Colin Cowie's most recent "Wedding Notes" and I wanted to share it with you because it is so near and dear to my heart.
Colin is so dead on with this article!  Timing is SOOOOO important!  I love what he says about how we have all been to weddings where the ceremony starts 25 minutes late, the cocktail hour drags on and on (usually because the photographer has delayed the couple with pictures) dinner is delayed or takes FOREVER to serve.  We have folks come in on a regular basis, expecting that this is just the "norm" for a wedding.  Not so at Aberdeen.  We work really hard to keep things on track, make sure that everything starts when it is supposed to start and ends when it's supposed to end.  This is what makes for an enjoyable wedding and reception!  The flow of the party is so important, and as Colin says, you don't want your guests to start looking at their watches!  That's the kiss of death for a party, because usually, as soon as they start looking at their watches, their next move is to look for their car keys! 
I'm always surprised by the people that come in 10, 15, even 20 minutes late for a ceremony!  They always seem to look at me with this puzzled expression on their faces that says "Gosh, they started on time?  Amazing!"  I guess that they are so used to ceremonies being late that these folks just add 15 minutes to the time on the invitation automatically!
My feeling on this is that if you say 5 o'clock, you should start at 5 o'clock.  It's not fair to your guests who ARE on time to make them sit and wait.  More important, if your ceremony runs late, it's going to make everything else start to run late because it will short you on time for your pictures etc.  It's a domino effect, and it's really hard to recover, once that first domino--the ceremony time--is tipped!
Good timing is something that Aberdeen Manor has become known for.  You have myself or my daughter Megan, there to make sure that everyone is on track and on schedule.  We keep the party moving, we serve your dinner in a timely manner, and if your photographer is dragging out the photos and delaying you, we aren't afraid to tell the photographer, nicely but firmly, that they need to wrap it up so that we can move along.  Incidentally, this is another reason why using a photographer from our Favorites List is so helpful, to you and us as well.  The photographers on our list KNOW that we keep things on time, and they are great at making everything fit together, getting the photos taken, and keeping everything on time.  One of our photographers, plus Transaudio as your DJ and you have a golden combination that is going to help to keep your special day running smoothly, and your guests happy and excited about your day.
Remember, the day may be about the two of you, but it is also about your guests.  The thoughtful couple wants their guests to have the time of their lives, as well as themselves.  There is nothing better after your wedding, than having one of your guests tell you, even years later, that YOUR wedding was the BEST wedding they ever attended! 
Timing IS everything!
Happy Weddings!

Same Day Edit--Kelly and Tom

While we are on the subject of wedding videos, here is another video that we thought was really impressive. This is by Memories Custom Videographers in Highland. This is what they call a "same day edit" clip. It was put together in a very short amount of time and shown to the guests at the reception before dinner. Granted, if you have your wedding and reception at the same location this might not be something you really need, simply because everyone is usually there for the ceremony, however if you have a ceremony at another location earlier in the day, where a lot of the guests at the reception haven't been in attendance for the ceremony, this would be a really nice touch! I really love how it is put together. It's short but beautifully done.
Of course, they received a full length video as well, and probably a "highlights" version too. Highlights are nice for showing to your friends that might not want to sit through a 2 hour presentation of your wedding. A 10 or 15 minute highlights video works great for giving them the high points of the day without boring them to tears or taking up the entire evening. It's kind of like home movies (for those of you that remember those! haha! I guess maybe home videos would be more appropo!) if you aren't in it, it isn't nearly as fascinating. Nevertheless, friends love to see the shorter version, and having one is awesome.
At the very least, consider having raw footage done at your wedding and reception. This can usually be done at a reasonable cost, and then if/when you want to have it edited into a more useable form, you have it. Once the day is over, you can't go back and get it; it's gone.

Here's their video:

Barns Wedding, Same Day Edit, Aberdeen Manor, Valpo, Indiana from Jeff Dildine on Vimeo.

Photos and Video - Not the Same Animal

When it comes to YOUR wedding, don't make the very common mistake of looking at photography and videography as the same thing; as an either/or option. BOTH photos and video have their own special uses and purposes. They are totally different, other than the fact that they both involve images.

I attended a seminar on videography a couple years ago, and they talked about a study that was done where they asked couples what the five most important services for their wedding were. BEFORE the wedding, video was named in only about 25% of the answers. But AFTER the wedding it was named in nearly 80% of the answers! Obviously there was a lot of people that wished they had gotten a video for their wedding!

It flies by in a nanosecond. Just as you wouldn't think of having your wedding without someone to take still photos, a video should be just as high on your priority list. If you can't afford to go with a fully edited, high tech video, at least have a professional take raw video, so that later on you can pay the additional to have it edited into something beautiful. If you don't have the video, you can't do it, ever.

Incidentally, did you know that an average wedding video requires about 40 to 50 hours of editing time? The price you pay for having someone take a video of your wedding is not just for the few hours that they are at your wedding. The largest portion of the cost is those hours and hours of editing time! If a video costs $1500, that works out to about 30 dollars an hour. Looks a lot more reasonable, doesn't it? In addition, professional videographers can easily have 30,000 to 50,000 dollars tied up in their equipment. Professional high definition cameras that are able to take high quality video in low light situations (and who wants a searchlight on constantly during their reception?) are really expensive, and good videographers are constantly having to update and upgrade their equipment. Looks like an even better bargain, doesn't it?

Because of the improvements in equipment, video doesn't have to be any more intrusive than still pictures. Just as with your photographer, people notice them at the very beginning, and then they kind of fade into the woodwork as people get used to them being there. After 5 minutes, they don't notice the photographer OR the videographer.

We have some awesome videographers on our Faves List. I hope you will really give video serious consideration when it comes to planning your wedding!

Thoughts about Photos and Photographers

This is me with one of my favorite photographers, Ed. He has done lots of weddings at Aberdeen. We always have fun when Ed is around. He was showing me how to take a picture of yourself. I had tried it, and ended up with a photo of the top of my head! He says the key is to have a bigger lens. Isn't that just typical! So now I am shopping for lenses for my NikonD70. I do need something that goes to a lower f-stop, so that I can get more depth of field in my photos where the light is less than bright.

I take lots of photos, particularly of our weddings, and consequently I ask a lot of questions when we have a good photographer around. I've learned a lot that way, just asking questions. It's actually getting to the point where I almost understand what I am doing! I actually comprehend the relationship between aperture and shutter speed, f-stops, and film speed. But it's still pretty much dumb luck that anything I take turns out well. :) There's a whole shelf full of pictures I have taken in the shop, some of them are really nice, cool lighting, great expressions, cute kids, etc.

Which brings me to my point. When you interview a photographer, you want to see a couple of individual weddings from beginning to end. If you came in and looked at my shelf full of pictures, you would say, wow, she's really a great photographer! But there are maybe 25 pictures up there, and I have probably taken, literally, over 20,000 pictures! That means that 1 in a thousand of my photos are brag shelf quality! If you looked at one wedding from beginning to end, you would probably see that some of my photos are way too dark, some are overexposed, and I use a lot of cropping in Photoshop to fix things. There are three things that are important when you look for a photographer, that he shoots consistently high quality images, (they don't have to all be fabulous, but the majority should be focused, well lit, etc.) he/she should be someone that you like, that you won't mind having in your immediate presence for 12 plus hours, and the price should fit your budgeted amount for photography.

Another factor that couples sometimes don't consider is the amount of time devoted to the pictures. Do you really want to spend your whole day smiling for a camera? When you look at those sample weddings, try to determine which shots were actually candid and which were posed or more importantly posed to look candid? Keep in mind that you can probably figure 3 to 5 minutes for each of those posed or posed to look candid shots. How much of your day do you want to devote to those shots?

My personal belief is that 12 posed shots can cover every possibility you will ever care to have, and the rest should be candid shots that you aren't even aware that the photographer is taking them. The shot of the two of you smiling at the camera while you are dancing your first dance doesn't mean nearly as much in the long run as the shot of the two of you smiling at each other during your first dance. Emotion and feeling are what most people want in their photos. They want a picture to transport them back to that moment. That's what candid photos do.

Trying to compare packages and pricing among photographers is a mindbending experience. They all offer different packages, different components, different prices. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to compare them to each other. Find one who fits the above criteria and go for it. You'll save yourself a lot of needless confusion.

So that's my 2 cents on photographers. Sometime soon we'll talk about videographers! I have lots of opinions about that too! (Just a hint, I LOVE videos!)